Trying weekends

Last weekend marked the third weekend that I had not seen Abi. It was a really trying experience for me. I was curious of why God's tests were unbearable to me this time. I broke down to tears so easily that I felt it was difficult to breathe.

I missed my husband so much until my brain began to corrupt my own idea of togetherness in a marriage. Of whether there is a need for me to keep living away from him or would all dilemmas be solved if I leave KL for good.

I began crying Friday night. It got worst on Saturday. However, the worst would be Sunday because I suddenly woke up about five in the morning and began to panic thinking about Abi not being around. I quickly packed fresh clothes in a bag and got out from the house in my pajama pants and t-shirt. I started my husband's car and drove towards a university friend's house. I wake her through a call on the way over there. Once I arrived I told her how much I could bear staying in my own home for I missed my husband so much.

I got out again, with her for early breakfast and we talked it out. Then we went back to her home watching TV and I had a good laugh. I left her house at about 12pm to a mall in order to clear my mind. Although in a state of depression, I managed to buy myself a pair of jeans and two t-shirts. Retail therapy really could do wonders to a girl's worry; there was no doubt about that!

I must say it was a bit humiliating but I never regret doing what I did the other day. That said I hope to move on with my life as a stronger woman. The only thing I need is constant support from family, friends and most importantly, Abi. You are the perfect husband a woman could ask for, ever! Your courage, patience and trust in choosing me as a wife only leaves me admiring you even more.

I hereby promise to never take you for granted and that I shall love you unconditionally. I cannot wait to see you and only God knows how much I miss you. This is the greatest test of strength, at least for me. After all, what is life without a few hiccups.

To a friend who pulled me back to the ground when I am about to lose faith in myself, thank you very much. I put a special thought in you while writing this entry. It was like a knock in the head when you make me realize that I cannot be left alone. It was kind of embarrassing for me as I always thought that I was and proud to be a solitary cat. Looks like I was dead wrong. Ouch!

You know who you are, buddy. I also learn that you face many challenges in the quest for that perfect soul mate yourself. I feel you and my heart goes out to you. I pray hard that you will soon find happiness in your respectful life. God bless.

Weekend alone

I know I had been quiet for a while now. Life was no fun for me because Abi was not around. My husband had to stay in Singapore and I need to wait in KL. The reason was that we must surrender both our passports to an embassy due to some visa matters.

So that was why I did not write as nothing really happened last weekend. Except that on Saturday, I sent my husband’s car for a maintenance service at Toyota Centre in PJ. After killing about five hours over there, I passed more time at a mall where I bought four pieces of garments from La Senza. Kindly blame the shop for having a sale, Abi.

In the evening I went to my mom’s house where she was hosting a dinner welcoming distant grandparents from Medan. Yes, my ancestors hailed from Indonesia so I still got living relatives whom I have yet to meet them. Anyway I felt sorry for my husband because we had tomato rice, one of his favorites, that evening. It was scrumptious, as usual.

After dinner, the family chat revolved around ghost stories. Aunties and cousins were kind enough to share their encounter experiences. I am the biggest scaredy cat when it comes to unseen entities. Goosebumps were all over me and my eyes were watery hearing these creepy tales. Darn, I was going back to an empty house later.

I braved going home that night although it rained again and all the way. I refused to sleep at my mom’s for I had a thousand things to do the next day. Thank God I arrived home safe and sound around ten minutes before midnight. Phew!

So on Sunday I slept in late, watched TV, did a two week’s laundry, watched TV, listened to mp3, watched TV, scrubbed the toilets, watched TV, swept the floor, watched TV, took an afternoon nap, watched TV, washed a whole week’s dishes and watched more TV. Boy was I busy.

At night I decided to eat out since there was nothing to cook for dinner (read: excuses). My target was the nearest KFC where I had chicken. I reached home on a full stomach but had trouble sleeping that night. I should…have not…had that…snack plate…zzz…

Weekend guests

There was a department outing that I was suppose to join last weekend to Cherating. However, I could not follow my colleagues because of a family matter. Abi’s family had arranged to visit our Singapore home, finally. It was kind of a last minute plan.

Although my husband allowed me to go on with my office trip and bring a friend as his replacement, he sounded hesitant over the phone. I sensed a desperate tone that he needed me around when we spoke, therefore I gave in.

I let go of the department outing since Abi felt that it was just natural that I be with him during the arrival of my brother-, parents-in-law, three aunties and six cousins. As the usually supportive wife, I flew in to Changi after work on Friday so that I would arrive a few hours earlier to welcome them. Besides, I would rather see my husband smiling instead of worrying for having to figure out how to attend his visiting family and relatives.

Truth be told, I regained my RM205 for pulling ourselves out from the office trip. I had been to Cherating, anyway. On the other hand, Abi ended up paying RM250 to get me on the last flight out from KL. It was a win-win situation for us: I won the plane ticket and he won me!

My husband and I were expecting two cars at our private apartment on Saturday. The information received was that the first car would lead the second car getting to Pasir Ris. However, only the first car arrived at about four in the morning as the other one got lost when they were inadvertently separated after the Singapore immigration checkpoint.

Not again, I thought. It was almost the same situation I caught in not long ago when I drove over there on my own except that I was alone then and they were a bunch of them in that car. We tried to contact everybody in the second car but to no avail. All the boys including Abi were ready to begin a search on the so-called missing vehicle when it appeared in front of the house’s gate at last. Amazingly, they reached home in one piece despite the lack of communication, let alone a map.

Like I said before you could not get lost in Singapore even if you try for it is a small country. It is safe, too so I guess there is no need to panic if you find yourself driving round and round in the wee hours. You are not actually lost but cannot find the way, yet. You will get there eventually. Just take your time and enjoy the spontaneous sightseeing tour until you reach your real destination.

So that weekend we played host to a dozen of people at once. All of us attended a distant relative’s wedding on rainy Saturday afternoon. Then, we went shopping from 10pm until 2am at Little India and the girls continued shopping the next afternoon until tea time in Tampines. It was a crazy experience for me – bringing eight people out to shop on Sunday, alone, while my husband stayed home finishing his report for Monday meeting.

All 12 of them left for KL that Sunday night. Abi thought that we handled our guests fine. However, I thought they managed themselves well as I did not have to do a single thing! The aunties cooked breakfast every morning for us. The cousins did their own dishes. Everyone slept anywhere possible in the house. It was easy for me entertaining them.

In addition, I got those mauve peep toe heels I had been craving for some time from my husband. It was a gift of effort and I got them for not even trying to make any! I do not mind doing this again in future, really, Abi.