Shortsightedness

I have been having this mild (read: in denial) issue with my eyesight. I cannot see clearly from a certain distance. There is a term for it, I guess. Forgive me for I am new at this. I hope it is not myopic. However, one could only hope, I suppose.

Ah the beauty of growing old. Yes, I am getting there. The symptoms are showing little by little. May I announce to the people out there that I am now shortsighted, officially?

I cannot tell who is walking towards me when I walk around in the office. I have to ask other colleagues with good eyes to confirm it for me. So kindly save your time acknowledging or smiling at me if you are about a 10 meters away from me. Although, please make funny faces or look annoyed at that distance because I am as good as blind, seriously.

Wait, it gets even worse when I drive. During the day, I cannot read signboards. I manage to go and come back safely if the route is routine for me. On the other hand, I need injury time (or glasses as Abi would always put it) in getting places I am unfamiliar with.

Night time driving is the worst. I cannot even say the plate number of the car right in front of me. With my husband, I have to make intelligent guesses every time we play the game try-read-that-sign-if-you-say-you-are-not-blind. Sigh.

I wanted to blame my office computer for contributing to this eyes defect. But then, I refuse to eat many kinds of vegetables to maintain good vision. And there is the frequent reading in the lowlight at home. But then again, my husband has warned me about it. Therefore, I read in the lowlight whenever he is not around. Tee hee.

Oh just admit it, Abi. You like having me looking like a nerd, right? That is why you were more than happy to pay for those spectacles, is it not? Hey, I am still a cool person whether or not I agree to wear them. Can I treat them as another accessory, not necessity (wink)?

Gosh. Midlife crisis would have been easier, I think. Where is it, though? I want it now, please!

Shorter weekend

I booked the first available flight from KL and flew into Changi Airport last Saturday. Abi fetched me in a cab and we were off to Orchard Road to see a friend. He was staying at the Singapore Marriott Hotel and was waiting for us for breakfast.

Buffet breakfast at the Marriott tasted good partly because I was very hungry. My day started at five in the morning and I did not grab a bite since. Even our friend was surprised to see the amount of food I consumed. Sorry if I scare you, dude. Kindly do not let my eating habit stop you from getting married.

After that, we went up to his room. The beds were cozy and inviting. Well, early flight and a heavy meal after were good enough reasons for me to take a nap. Hmm. Restraining myself from sleeping, I watched TV on the bed instead. Meanwhile, our friend packed his luggage getting ready for check-out.

We began window shopping along Orchard Road and went from Tangs to Paragon to Takashimaya to Wisma Atria to Orchard MRT station. Apparently we (by that I mean myself) did not find anything interesting to buy. Our friend though, bought a shot glass from Harley-Davidson Motorclothes Store as a souvenir.

We continued our journey by train to Harbourfront Centre. We stopped for coffee and chat at Wang’s before making a move to Vivo City. Now we are talking. Actually, I needed to buy a cross body bag for my netbook (tongue) and dragged two men in my quest. Hey guys, since when you become a woman’s retail buddy? Tee hee.

After much search, we finally found a Kipling shop, yay! Abi and friend gave their comments on the bags I picked out. Not only that, they also catwalked the bags for me! You guys were funny, seriously.

We had really early dinner at Sakae Sushi courtesy of GE imagination at work. I ate a lot of sushi and my husband sashimi. He even dared me to eat sashimi but I had to refuse, although that new handbag lure was tempting. After thanking our dinner sponsor (wink), we sent him back to his hotel to claim his luggage at the concierge. He left for KL that evening and we said goodbye to him.

I hit the bed as soon as we were home. I did not hear Abi’s cousin arriving that night. I woke up hungry about 12am. Apparently, they went out for a drink before that. Abi bought me club sandwich and pomegranate juice. And I could not sleep after that filling supper. Gee, thanks, Abi.

It was lazy Sunday. Abi went back to sleep after morning tea. His cousin followed me to get lunch at Downtown East and it was like a carnival going on there. We checked out a warehouse sale but since I only bring enough money to buy lunch so you know the drill. Get in, get a hold of myself, and get out!

Then we ordered KFC to go enough to fill up three people. I woke Abi up as we reached home and lunch was heavenly. We went back to lazing on the couch. I packed my new Kipling bag (grin) before ironing my husband’s work shirts. Came night fall, Abi’s cousin drove us to the airport.

We had another coffee and chat while waiting for my boarding time. It was the last flight and luckily, my brother-in-law was at his parents’ house in Seremban and would be picking me up after dropping off his baby sister in Cyberjaya, who is by the way just pursuing her second year at MMU.

I said goodbye to Abi and cousin, finally. The weekend seemed so short this time around. Maybe my husband was right. Flying in on Friday and Saturday did have a big difference. The truth, a few hours is crucial for us frequent flyers to have enough rest. If we were to do this for another two years top, I should forget about Saturday flight booking although its cheaper fare really does well for our household economy. Sigh.

Blur case

Abi will forever tease me whenever we discuss this particular subject. He says I was too slow in picking up signals from him. I swear, I had no clue whatsoever when exactly my then associate, now my husband, had a crush on me. I did not even notice if he was hitting on me!

My husband first fell for me during my Hari Raya open house. I remember that my close friends happened to be just boys at that moment. I fried koay teow for them. Funny thing. Nobody thought it was tasty at all; including him. Sorry guys, I sucked.

A few days later, Abi drove from Kajang to Gombak and fetch me for a movie at KLCC. I did not realize it was a date. There was nothing romantic about it. I thought it was just a friendly outing. Wait, it rained that day but no, it was still not romantic, Abi.

Being an old boy from an all boys school, my husband was almost always with the boys. He drove his housemates to class, for drinks or to play street soccer. All I knew, he would always pick me up to join them.

It was later I found out, he kind of sneaked out on his housemates to see me. If I recall correctly, he told me that everybody else was busy on that day. Which is why, I never saw us going out as a date.

It was another university friend who said she thought that Abi liked me a lot. She could tell from the way he looked at me. I was like, really huh? So that was the point I decided he was the one for me. It took a third party to actually open my eyes and heart. Finding out that he was really into me, my quest of true love was over.

Blur, right? And that was nine years ago. I am sure there were many more classic blur cases that people felt sorry to highlight them to me. However, there is a recent incident making me realize that I am as blur as a girl can be.

I was driving home from the office last Friday. Halfway through the journey, a guy driver slowed down his car on my left side. He signed that one of the back tyres was flat.

I signed back noting the message he was trying to send and thanked him. Fortunately, I was about to pass a petrol station on my left, so I turned into the junction and pulled over. True enough, my back right tyre was flat to the ground.

I mean, I have been driving for so long and I could not tell if I had a tyre situation. It took another driver who cared about the safety of others, telling me that. This shows that I need a third person waking me up from my blurry mode occasionally, if not constantly.

I cannot feel the difference of driving on good or bad tyres. Hello, they are still spinning although with no air inside. Hmm. God knows how much more damages I could have done and it is not even my car to start with!

Oh come on, do not shake your head like that. Sob.

Hidden pastime

Did you already know that I like to sing? I mean like really, really, really like singing? Alright I love singing for God’s sake! Instead of just listening to a good song, I would sing along because it picks me up. It is also my way of expressing emotions which I fail to show with gestures or words for that matter.

Some people go to great lengths to carry out their passion. Well, I am a scaredy cat. Although I think I have the so-called gift, I dare not share it with others. When I asked Abi if I am a good singer, he said it himself that I am not a singer, but a musician. I was like whoa, that is even better answer than I hoped to get.

However, my brother-in-law has a lot more faith in me than his brother. Maybe because you are a believer like me and your brother is skeptical. You always have these what-if plans that I could do through music. And you followed me to that guitar shop when my husband preferred the book store. Hey bro, now we know who the cool people are, huh? And yeah, okay, you can start driving Blackie next week.

Last two weekends in Singapore, Abi and I went out for dinner. After stuffing ourselves up with a lot of food at Sakura, we noticed there was an open mic event across the street near Raffles City Shopping Centre. It was held in conjunction of the Singapore Arts Festival.

As we were about to pass through, we heard the emcee invited anybody from the crowd to sing with their guitarist because they were giving out tickets to other events. Abi asked if I wanted to try out. I was suddenly nervous and not sure how to react. Oh I hate those feelings. I did not do it, though for I did not have the guts!

On the other hand, I must admire Abi for having such confidence in me that night. I thought he would never ask me to. Next time, maybe?

Hand In My Pocket by Alanis Morissette

I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah

I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful, baby

What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
'cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five

I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah

I care but I'm restless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry, baby

What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
'cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette

And what it all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
'cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving the peace sign

I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm hard but I'm friendly, baby

I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chickensh*t
I'm sick but I'm pretty, baby

And what it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
'cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano

And what it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything's just fine fine fine
'cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab

Reflective weekend

What are you afraid of the most in life?

I cannot afford to be afraid of ageing. Some people are intimidated about revealing their age. Newsflash: I am not. It is something I have no control over. However, I am annoyed by people who ask mine as if it is the final necessary detail they need right before judging me.

So what if I look younger than I supposed to? And what if my crazy act does not depict my actual age? I never judge you.

I cannot afford to be afraid of another human being. They are not the boss of me. They cannot tell me what to do because I do as I like. Except when Abi specifically says I should not do certain things again, then I have to observe them. You know I am trying hard, right Abi?

I never stop others at anything but I do not understand why some people beat themselves up over their own decision. Well, I cannot I be held responsible for any harm you did to yourself, hear?

The next time people think they frightened me; actually I was putting on an ooh-I-am-so-scared! act. It is my way of honoring their effort but please try again, people!

I cannot afford to be afraid of losing. I have countless experience of losing stuffs and people. I lost my graduation photos to a broken camera. How can you create another memory like that? I also lost a bracelet my grandmother bought me. Of course I can always buy a new similar one but you know it will not feel the same.

As for people, I lost a high school classmate because he died. I also lost a university friend who had not called since I got married. I did send her an invitation, if you are wondering. We were that close, you know? Anyway people die, eventually. It is just a matter of time. How do I even stop that from happening? Therefore losing becomes less painful to me after a while.

I cannot afford to be afraid of not earning enough money. This is never a concern to me although I hold quite a decent job. However, may I declare to the whole world that I do not need this job I am holding? I am doing this for fun, pleasure and all other reasons apart from making a living, really. I have enough of everything even if I quit my job right now. How about that?

I am low maintenance. I do not dream big. I hate hand-me-downs, secondhand or anything that does not belong to me first. I am brand conscious and like brand new items but here is the thing: they are not necessarily expensive.

I am a big-time cheapskate and proud of it, which is why my husband can afford whatever I desire. In addition, Abi believes in my good taste so I get to decide on the assets he is purchasing for us.

I cannot afford to be afraid of anything but God. Period.