Tuesday, March 31

Trying weekends

Last weekend marked the third weekend that I had not seen Abi. It was a really trying experience for me. I was curious of why God's tests were unbearable to me this time. I broke down to tears so easily that I felt it was difficult to breathe.

I missed my husband so much until my brain began to corrupt my own idea of togetherness in a marriage. Of whether there is a need for me to keep living away from him or would all dilemmas be solved if I leave KL for good.

I began crying Friday night. It got worst on Saturday. However, the worst would be Sunday because I suddenly woke up about five in the morning and began to panic thinking about Abi not being around. I quickly packed fresh clothes in a bag and got out from the house in my pajama pants and t-shirt. I started my husband's car and drove towards a university friend's house. I wake her through a call on the way over there. Once I arrived I told her how much I could bear staying in my own home for I missed my husband so much.

I got out again, with her for early breakfast and we talked it out. Then we went back to her home watching TV and I had a good laugh. I left her house at about 12pm to a mall in order to clear my mind. Although in a state of depression, I managed to buy myself a pair of jeans and two t-shirts. Retail therapy really could do wonders to a girl's worry; there was no doubt about that!

I must say it was a bit humiliating but I never regret doing what I did the other day. That said I hope to move on with my life as a stronger woman. The only thing I need is constant support from family, friends and most importantly, Abi. You are the perfect husband a woman could ask for, ever! Your courage, patience and trust in choosing me as a wife only leaves me admiring you even more.

I hereby promise to never take you for granted and that I shall love you unconditionally. I cannot wait to see you and only God knows how much I miss you. This is the greatest test of strength, at least for me. After all, what is life without a few hiccups.

To a friend who pulled me back to the ground when I am about to lose faith in myself, thank you very much. I put a special thought in you while writing this entry. It was like a knock in the head when you make me realize that I cannot be left alone. It was kind of embarrassing for me as I always thought that I was and proud to be a solitary cat. Looks like I was dead wrong. Ouch!

You know who you are, buddy. I also learn that you face many challenges in the quest for that perfect soul mate yourself. I feel you and my heart goes out to you. I pray hard that you will soon find happiness in your respectful life. God bless.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

wei, lenkali klu rasa2 nak down tu...join la kitorang kat futsal...apa guna kekawan kan...aku rasa Im x marah nyer klu ko lepak ngn kitorang...tul x Im?