Friday, June 5

Reflective weekend

What are you afraid of the most in life?

I cannot afford to be afraid of ageing. Some people are intimidated about revealing their age. Newsflash: I am not. It is something I have no control over. However, I am annoyed by people who ask mine as if it is the final necessary detail they need right before judging me.

So what if I look younger than I supposed to? And what if my crazy act does not depict my actual age? I never judge you.

I cannot afford to be afraid of another human being. They are not the boss of me. They cannot tell me what to do because I do as I like. Except when Abi specifically says I should not do certain things again, then I have to observe them. You know I am trying hard, right Abi?

I never stop others at anything but I do not understand why some people beat themselves up over their own decision. Well, I cannot I be held responsible for any harm you did to yourself, hear?

The next time people think they frightened me; actually I was putting on an ooh-I-am-so-scared! act. It is my way of honoring their effort but please try again, people!

I cannot afford to be afraid of losing. I have countless experience of losing stuffs and people. I lost my graduation photos to a broken camera. How can you create another memory like that? I also lost a bracelet my grandmother bought me. Of course I can always buy a new similar one but you know it will not feel the same.

As for people, I lost a high school classmate because he died. I also lost a university friend who had not called since I got married. I did send her an invitation, if you are wondering. We were that close, you know? Anyway people die, eventually. It is just a matter of time. How do I even stop that from happening? Therefore losing becomes less painful to me after a while.

I cannot afford to be afraid of not earning enough money. This is never a concern to me although I hold quite a decent job. However, may I declare to the whole world that I do not need this job I am holding? I am doing this for fun, pleasure and all other reasons apart from making a living, really. I have enough of everything even if I quit my job right now. How about that?

I am low maintenance. I do not dream big. I hate hand-me-downs, secondhand or anything that does not belong to me first. I am brand conscious and like brand new items but here is the thing: they are not necessarily expensive.

I am a big-time cheapskate and proud of it, which is why my husband can afford whatever I desire. In addition, Abi believes in my good taste so I get to decide on the assets he is purchasing for us.

I cannot afford to be afraid of anything but God. Period.

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