Wednesday, July 23

Free choice

When I purposely place myself down rather than up, mind you it is not a passport for you to underestimate or even step on my head. Why on earth do you still have to go lower than me? I thought I am the lamest of a person but you cannot help but placing yourself in such a disgusting position! It looks like you are the one with a problem. For me to spend my energy and time to think about you is just not worth it.

That is why I have made up a motivational statement to help myself get through this harsh working life. Thanks to a personal development training that I went for last two weeks. It has inspired me to come up with this. I live by these ideals everyday I come into the office. I make a number of better decisions now. I am more contented knowing I decide for myself first, then for the good of others.

I do not mind people who are still a child at heart but I really pity those who carry a child in their mind. I guess some people merely grow up a lot slower than many other people. Because if I lose in arguments deliberately, these people think they have won big. If I withdraw from any challenges intentionally, they think their success is guaranteed. The point they are missing is that I am saving my precious energy and time doing something else rather than having the last word or proving my potential to people who do not matter.

I am not a scaredy cat! Well, except of my husband because he might not buy me my birthday gift if I were to piss him off right now. I am just frustrated with people who are not aligned with my level of mentality. It is like when I recycle, they smirk at my purpose of doing. So what if I do those for the sake of my children’s children? Many people live only for the day without caring about what the kind of air their great grandchildren will breathe in. Those people fail to cope with my mind level and I feel sorry for them.

To me losing and withdrawing are not such bad attitudes after all. I started from zero. Zero is neither positive nor negative. Zero is a good point to reevaluate character, effort, thus life as a whole. At least I do it now rather than regret when it is too late.

At the end of the day, I still have an endless list of things to be thankful for. For example, my relationship with my superiors is overwhelming. I hear gossip from colleagues but still cool with the victim. I married a wonderful husband who never fails to be around every weekend so far that his time could be the most expensive present a wife would ever get (hint, hint). I write stuff you are reading that I find quite relaxing. And the list goes on.

Anyway, this next song goes out to people out there who are not even worth mentioning. Kindly remember that the world does not evolve around you. Please ditch your me-against-the-world behavior. If I am a nuisance to the world, why are you still reading this? You have been granted the freedom of choice since you were brought into the world. Because I am a very nice person, you deserve to be dedicated a song to. So, enjoy!

Disenchanted by My Chemical Romance

Well I was there on the day
They sold the cause for the queen
And when the lights all went out
We watched our lives on the screen
I hate the ending myself
But it started with an alright scene

It was the roar of the crowd
That gave me heartache to sing
It was a lie when they smiled
And said, "you won't feel a thing"
And as we ran from the cops
We laughed so hard it would sting

If I'm so wrong
How can you listen all night long?
Now will it matter after I'm gone?
Because you never learn a goddamned thing

You're just a sad song with nothing to say
About a life long wait for a hospital stay
And if you think that I'm wrong
This never meant nothing to you

I spent my high school career
Spit on and shoved to agree
So I could watch all my heroes
Sell a car on TV
Bring out the old guillotine
We'll show them what we all mean

If I'm so wrong
How can you listen all night long?
Now will it matter long after I'm gone?
Because you never learn a goddamned thing


So go, go away, just go, run away
But where did you run to? And where did you hide?
Go find another way, price you pay


At all, at all, at all, at all

No comments: